Pandora

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Stick this in your pipe, Duncan tells tobacco giant

Duncan Bannatyne, right, a better-looking and smaller-belliedAlan Sugar, is reinventing himself as a documentary maker. Pandorahears that last week he had his own "Michael Moore" confrontationwith security heavies from the cigarette manufacturing giant BritishAmerican Tobacco.

The Jock entrepreneur and Dragons' Den judge, worth 310m, isfilming an investigative 60-minute film for BBC2's This World aboutBAT's marketing policies in Africa, looking into allegations aboutthe sale of its products to children. (The Nigerian government haslaunched a multi-billion- euro lawsuit against BAT, Phillip Morrisand International Tobacco.)

BAT has complained to the BBC about the behaviour of Bannatyneand his film crew at the company's AGM in London's Square Mile lastWednesday. Bannatyne attempted to interview some of the company'stop brass by the building's shiny entrance - among them the formerchancellor Kenneth Clarke - resulting in a showdown.

Bannatyne, who has also filmed in Malawi, called out "What isthis company's marketing policy in Africa?" He was restrained andlifted back by security guards.

"We've raised a point with the BBC that he basically doorsteppedus," says a BAT spokesman. "Usually there is a requirement to dothat, such as us refusing an interview, which was wasn't the case.

"As for the programme itself, we are in negotiations with themand seeing if it's something we are looking to get involved in."

Norton's little nipper locks jaws on jogger

That persistent yapping, the lolling tongue, the quizzicalsideways-slanted head and barely controlled boisterousness: yes,it's Graham Norton, towing his two dogs, Madge, a terrier cross herescued, and Bailey, a "labradoodle" once attacked by OrlandoBloom's mutt.

Over to Pandora's man in the crotch-hugging Eighties runningshorts for an update on Britain's devil dogs epidemic: "My very fatfriend Ramin was jogging in Aldgate [central London] this evening,only for his swaying hand to be set upon by a terrier."

The panting exerciser loudly required what the Fuchsiaexcorticata was going on.

"Oh I'm sooo sorry!" came the singing reply, before Madge, Baileyand papa Norton plodded past. The BBC presenter turned and scoldedhis charge: "Madge, don't do that again!"

Perhaps we should leave the pooches out of it and just fit amuzzle and surgical collar to Norton.

Mr Stanley, I presume?

At the risk of planting a cyanide smacker on the lips of BorisJohnson's father, Stanley, Pandora throws her bonnet into his campfor the contest to replace Bozza as the MP for Henley. The newLondon Mayor will resign from Parliament "in an orderly fashion"later this year, requiring the Conservatives to select a Henleycandidate "before the summer holiday".

The word at The Spectator's lavish 180th birthday party was thatTory HQ will try to nobble the campaign of environmentalist Stanley,67, in favour of a younger challenger. The sprightly, rainforest-exploring, blond pom-pommed "Stazza" boasts stints at the WorldBank, as a Tory MEP, and bossing the European Commission's anti-pollution unit. He could be the first pop to follow his progeny toParliament. Central Office should let the people of Henley decide.

Pink parade

Bozza is to attend his first Gay Pride parade in July. Last yearthe Tory candidate for Brighton Pavilion, Dr David Bull, ran a floatof topless dancing boys in that city's march. PinkNews.co.uk reportsthat the Conservative Party may run its own Pride float in London -no confirmation of bare-chested gyrating. Boris has a cohort of gayadvisers, among them Nick Boles, campaign manager Dan Ritterband,deputy mayor Richard Barnes, planning adviser Sir Simon Milton andFire Authority chair Brian Coleman.

A gimmick by the marketing bods overseeing Madonna's album, HardCandy: give out candy canes to the audience outside her ParisOlympia show. Genius - except fans had to hand them back on enteringthe auditorium, in case any were launched at Madge.

Pall Mall's bad day in Basra

Smoke and the crump of mortars drift from Pall Mall on the warmevening river breeze, following the eruption of Iraq-stylehostilities at the customarily sedate Oxford and Cambridge Club. Anawards ceremony to promote peace in the Middle East descended intounhelpful fist-throwing when the final gong, for "cutting edge"journalism from the region, went to a female Iraqi hack flown inespecially from Basra. "The bloke presenting was Iraqi and startingarguing with someone in the audience," says Pandora's lass in thepearl necklace. "He called him a thug and a murderer because of apast association with Saddam's regime. The guest did not take thissitting down, it went right off. The host had to wind things up overthe marquise au chocolat before blows landed."